Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
