It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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