Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Watching her eat just hurts me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
