it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
