can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
