He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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