I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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