Porn is love you can see.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
