what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
