Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
