Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
