We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
