I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
