Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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