I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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