This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
