Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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