She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize