While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize