:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
