I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize