i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
