You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
