Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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