Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
