Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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