I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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