Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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