I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Boobs are out for the taking
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
