MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
