Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize