and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
