My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
