she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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