all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
