they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She's the barista slut.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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