Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize