OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
