So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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