My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize