hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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