Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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