i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
