omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
