Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
