He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Come on in and take your pants off
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