chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
