Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish I only lived at night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
