my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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