i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
