oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
