chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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