been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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