If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
