Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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