Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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