I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
my poor anus
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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