Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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