one two three fourrrrnication!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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