literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
